August Ending

Hit the trail one last time before we finish out August. I did way more boarding this year than I had anticipated. Changed out the wheels, replaced the bearings, and even formed a Thursday Posse of six other middle-aged men seeking the thrills and chills of Provo Canyon.

But the big news of August is my first grader. Little Adelaide is going to school all day now. I have been informed that they have two recesses at school and when I inquired as to why I don't get recess at work, I was told it's because I have too many gray hairs. Honesty has always been her greatest strength.

Take My Breath Away

Adam and Jen hit the garage sales today while I stayed home with the leftovers. But this is how they thank me. The best darn jacket on the planet. Add to that, my recently-aquired-gas-station-aviator-glasses and we have ourselves a bonafied Top Gun pilot. So many questions for him. What is his flying nickname? Can he seranade women in a piano bar? Can he play volleyball topless? Where IS the Danger Zone?



Over 30? Wanna look fantastic? Skip breakfast. Trade out a couple lunches a week to go longboarding. Eat dinner only every other night. Down a 44 ouncer of Dr.Pepper/Pepsi every day (or at least often enough that the gas station attendant knows you by name). You'll be dead before you're 50, but you'll look great!



Bubble Toes is off on an adventure with the Grandparents, and since I've been a good boy, the Dude told me he would take me out to the Mall and teach me some stuff about being a dude.

He taught me it's ok to stare at the roller coaster thingy anywhere from 20 to 40 minutes. Continuously.

He taught me the Mall can be a great place to car shop. Or to see if they left the cars unlocked with the keys inside.

He showed me where they hide the dude accessories at Build A Bear. And that they're not called "accessories".



He taught me how to slide down a wavy slide without catching my feet and flipping head over heels.

He took me to the sporting goods store to help me work on my swing. I was only 3 for 7 at the softball game last night, and he had some pointers.

I don't know for sure what he was thinking here. There are all sorts of things wrong with this photo. So he let me take him to the gumball machine to get him a gumball and straighten his head out.

Then he showed me why he was so quiet at the hat shop. Apparently he had been removing the stickers from the hats and sneaking them onto his shirt.

And please bless the Spaghettios though even they don't need it because they are so effin' delicious! Amen.

Yup. We skateboarded the waterfall. Literally. The waterfall.

Reggie and I did about 20 miles on the bike yesterday. It kicked our butts. It's good to know that when I'm too tired Reggie can reach forward and help me steer the bike home. Now if he'd just pedal a little. Thanks Reggie.



There are 3 seconds at church when Reggie isn't eating his snacks, drinking his juice, driving his trucks or playing on my phone. But just 3 seconds.

 

 

Our handsome dad.

Poor Reggie. He just HATES playing outside.



Hot summer day. Backyard sprinklers. One giggly 6 year old. A great combination.

I love Reggie. But he can be a little gullible sometimes; I mean, look, my mower isn't even turned on! And THAT'S how to get a 2 year old to mow the lawn. Thanks Reggie and sorry.

The walks to church on Sunday mornings are the best. Reggie keeps the pace super slow with his short legs just to make sure it takes a while. And Adelaide talks the whole time in order to "warm her voice up for the day". If he'd speed it up a little and if she'd keep her mouth shut, maybe one of these days I will go with them.

Found the bat I was given for my fifth birthday. It's a Carlton Fisk signed bat that I named Bo. Took Reggie out front to hit some tennis balls. That's when he decided to reveal to me that he hits left-handed and prefers the Ty Cobb split grip. Left-handed? First Gary and now Reggie. Starting to feel like a failure...

 

 

Epiphany: House Cleaning & Home Repair

Epiphany: Friendship

Reggie took me to a ball game Friday night on Angel Gumball Machine Giveaway Night, AND he invited Adelaide and Mike and Paula, AND bought me a frozen lemonade. I love Reggie.

 

 

We go on the ride to give Jennifer Jorgensen a break. I go for the 18 miles. Reggie goes because, well let's face it, cuz he's 2 and he does whatever I say. And Addie? Addie goes cuz she knows I'll buy her that oversized snow cone. I guess it's just good to go, whatever the reason.

Just got in late/early this night/morning. 18 hours of driving solitude this weekend. I'm fine. But none of the overly optimistic bugs made it. Stupid, dead bugs.



People always confused Tony and me for twins, and I can see why. And all these years later, I still can't tell which of us is which...

 

 

My fins, me, and one last session at Crescent before heading home. "We are the three best friends that anybody could have, we are the three best friends that anybody could have."

The Matrix got it wrong. This is the Oracle. Neo would have had way fewer problems if the Oracle had just taken him to Marie Calendar's for lunch and peach pie. I'm just sure of it.

 

 

Body surfing at Crescent Bay. Check. Forget my fins. Check. Have a heated debate with a seagull discussing the advantages of a totalitarian proletariate over a utopian establishment for the commonwealth. Check. Soooo, I guess I go back in the water...

 

Adam Jorgensen well done choosing Crescent Bay, that was always our favorite

Justin Nielson So you lost the debate?

Steven Funk I find seagulls quite ignorant and close minded, usually pelicans are a better debate.

David Eliason Just got a new board. When are you going to be back so I can properly break it in up Provo C?

Tony Misfit Flock of Seagulls RULES!

Nathan Anderson Did you finish the seagull off with Gordon Wood, talking about you know, the Pre-revolutionary utopia and the capital-forming effects of military mobilization? Or that prior to the revolutionary war the economic modalities, especially in the southern colonies could most aptly be characterized as agrarian pre-capitalist. How do you like them apples.

Davey Saunders Adam - you know that is always the first beach I visit. Justin - I always lose debates. My ADD causes me to lose focus. Steve - I think we can all agree that yes, seagulls are a-holes. David - a little off topic, but Monday night :) Tony - the best part about Flock of Seagulls is when Jules calls that kid by that name in Pulp Fiction. Nate - I'm gonna go see about a girl. July 15 at 8:56am

Of course California welcomes me home with a beauteous rainbow. A beauteous rainbow and a Ralph's truck. Tonight at Brandon's house, tomorrow Royal Donuts and Salt Creek.

I woke up next to this in my bed today. I remember hanging with Reggie into the wee hours but I have no memory of the trucks rolling in. I'm sure they rest easy knowing they'll never be left behind.

ANCHORMAN 2 After years of auditions, read-throughs, screenings, and one or two letters that could or could not be misconstrued as death threats (we'll let the courts decide) to certain producers, I finally got my first big break. I'm not supposed to say anything, but what are they going to do? Fire me and replace me with some unknown like Paul Rudd? Haha! I highly doubt that. Haha! Paul Rudd...

 

 

I always understood that being at 8000ft was like being in International Waters. But here we are. No casinos, no black market, no pirates. Just a couple of kids who in 20 years will wonder why I dressed them like this. "That John Denver is full of $&@! man."

Reggie has only one rule when we ride. 1. Just ride. So technically I am not sure if sneaking a photo is against the rules. His rules also don't mention anything about accidentally running over snakes. I think Reggie needs to clarify his rule.

Bubble Toes and me with a pretty good view of the valley and fireworks from our rooftop. I think she's more excited about sitting on the roof than watching the fireworks. Not totally sure, but it's close.

Spending the 4th with my favorite short people. A little bike ride. A little splash pad. A big snow cone. And a lot of smiles.

 

 

Rolling with my boy, Mike. Best father-in-law I ever had. A really good friend too. Mine frien'.

Our first game of the year with the Orem Owlz. And yep, we already caught our first foul ball. It was a leaping, 180 degree, falling backwards kind of catch. And he's only 2 years old! Then again, that's why I named him Reggie.

 



Sometimes life is hard. Dodger/Angel game in 15 minutes. Have my Happy Hour drink from Sonic. Sitting outside filling the kiddie pool with water. Whipping Adam in Words With Friends. I guess sometimes life isn't THAT hard.

Needed to clear my mind. I am not one to spend money one myself. So being my charitable self that I am, I bought my Antares new wheels for $47 and took her out on some of the best 8 miles in Utah. Got me in such a good mood, now I might go buy MYSELF something...

Lost my debit card again! Checked my car, my shorts, the abused kids at the lemonade stand, the trash, the laundry, not the strip club - it's cash only, and in the end, I should have known. Thanks Colonel, for keeping it finger-licking safe these 36 hours. You rootbeer freezy temptress!

Starting out. First I make him enjoy the toilet. So I sit him on it. We talk about our day while we eat swedish fish. When he's had enough (time on the toilet and fish) he says, "All done." One of these times the magic will happen.



I'm the one with the orange spiky hair. Thanks Adelaide and Reggie for giving me a reason to want to be better than I am. No matter how seemingly impossible it may be to improve on perfection. Maybe just a little more humility. Maybe.

I wasn't going to let him drive it, but then he turned to me and said, "It's ok Dad. I have my Batman shirt on." How could I turn down the very excuse I used for years?

Hello Longboard. Good to see you again. Sorry its been so long. I miss Captain too. Thanks for the ride today. ♥ Davey

Sometimes there's something better to do on your lunch break than eat lunch. Sometimes you just have to longboard Provo Canyon. Dedicated to Ethan Schofield, Jeff Hick, Steven Funk, Gary Saunders and the others.

Nothing sexier in the single adult life than staying up 'til 1AM playing Scrabble with a dude. And losing. Maybe I'll do better tomorrow with Chinese Checkers.