Needed

Usually when it's after midnight and I hear the kids' bedroom door open and then close, I can expect to see The Dude slowly try to ninja his way into my room and up and into my bed all the while hoping I don't wake up and send him back to his room.

But tonight, no one came in. Then I heard footsteps on the stairs in the hallway. Someone was making a break for it, albeit a slow one. So I rolled myself out of bed and opened my door. Looked down the hallway. Stairs were clear. So I went up the stairs and there, taking slow, shaky steps in the kitchen was Bubble Toes. I asked her what she was doing and all she could do was mumble. The poor thing was sleep walking. She was convinced she knew what she was doing, but considering she hadn't had a swig of hard liquor in a few days, I took the slurred speech and closed eyes as a good sign she was asleep.

So I picked her up, patted her back and started back for her room. I talked, she mumbled. I held her, she dangled. As I laid her back in her bed and started to pull her covers over her, I realized something. So I climbed into bed and let her rest her head on my chest. Over the years the needs have turned to wants.

"I want a treat."

"I want a toy."

"I want to go play with friends."

"I want to watch a show."

And most of the things she can do by herself.

"I can do it Dad!"

I smiled. Tonight, in her exhausted and weakened state, there were no wants. Tonight was a throwback because tonight, she needed me. So I guess sometimes its ok to cry. Because sometimes it feels so good to be reminded that you're still needed.